The Club Scene: A Practical Guide to Getting Lucky

We at Exposure Online Magazine have always been an admirer and ready patron at the local club and bar scenes of Canada's more popular cities. We enjoy the action, the music, and of course the women. But what we hate seeing is the ineptitude of so many guys when interacting with the fairer sex. They are too shy or obnoxious, too drunk or too nervous, too tongue-tied or overbearing. We wish they would just relax and enjoy themselves.

Perhaps, they need a good friend, a person who is at ease with the blondes and brunettes in the tight fitting clothing, to give them some sage words of advice. That, my friend, is where we are here to help. So, sit back from your computer screen, enjoy your favourite beverage, and read the wisdom we will now put forth.

Preparation
We may be stating the obvious but its best to start at the beginning of you journey into the dark rooms of your local dance clubs and watering holes beforehand just to be safe. First off, take a fucking shower dude! You will be shaking your ass on the dance floor all night and will be sweating up a storm. It's best not to have the dirt of the day on your body beforehand.

Grooming is also important, shave that shit off your face unless you have a Sam Roberts thing you're working on. But women in general like a clean man over a dirty faced one, especially when you're not famous. So wash that hot body of yours. Shave that face, trim that puff of hair on your crotch (women hate going down on a man and get a mouth full of pubes dude), brush those pearly whites and wash that hair on your head. After you dry off, put on deodorant, strong deodorant, the kind that is white. Don't use a gel, it's mostly water and will evaporate over the course of the night leaving you smelling like the pig that you are. Just watch out when you put on that cool shirt of yours as you don't want white powder lining the sides of it after pulling it over your head.

New underwear is also a plus. There is nothing that kills a mood more that having ratty looking underwear on your ass when you disrobe bud. Boxers or briefs are fine but leave any boxers that have stupid writing like "love machine" or "welcome to the best part of me" on them at home. Mono-coloured underwear of a dark sort is best (white is out of the question as stains can never be hidden).

As for cologne, it's unimportant. Wear it if you want but overdoing it is worse than having none at all. You are going to sweat it all off anyway and if you meet a hot babe who finds your choice of body spray unpleasant you've lost her right from the start. Think conservatively in this area; don't let those Axe commercials sway you into the territory of reckless abandon; that area is best left to later when you're in the bedroom with that lucky someone.

The Club Scene - Page 2

Article by:
FS Staff

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